Anither wee keek at the thistle no.1 - Scots language poetry for beginners.
lyrics
The poet near grat as he finished his rant
Aboot preservin’ and savin’ some long lost relative he cried his ‘ain mither tongue’
Seems the twa o them are awfy close
Biding thegither in a caravanette in Saltcoats
Paid fur by the Scottish Airts Cooncil
Man, I’d ma heid in ma hauns as I remembered my ain mither tongue.
A flighty crabit sleekit besom that shacked up with
The first American to whisper ‘Coca Cola’ in her shell-like lug
Geordie Orwell said if ye huvnae the words ye cannae think the thoughts
But I think we’ re daein’ just fine wi’ this
Mixter-maxter muckle muddle of Scots and English that’s changing a’ the whiles
Let's dae awa' wi a' this Scots preserved in Whisky flavoured aspic and a' that.
Synthetic Scots mince that's as truly Scots as deep-fried Sushi (Ars Tempura an' a' that an' a' that)
Ye’d be mad tae lock up yer ain mither tae keep her frae changing like some linguistic Miss Haversham wi her wedin’ claes a’ in tatters frae her oxters tae the flair
Looking like the torn up pages o' last century’s ‘Dictionary of the Scots Language’
No leave her be, let her go free tae fly as the howlin gales tak her
Dinnae chain her
That’s no the way that us lads and lasses o’ pairts brought up in the demoncratic intellect maun act.
Naw, thems the notions o’ girners and stiflers doon the ages
The kind that end up on committees tae spier that some glaekit looking thingmy cannae be changed forbye it’s a part of oor bonny bonny heritage
Naw, that’s no the way.
So gonnae dae us a’ a favour and dinnae tell folks how to speak or whit words tae use
Or how tae think
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